opening up

I have a difficult time climaxing when my partner is touching me, giving me oral sex, or just fucking me in general. It just doesn't happen that often. I usually and almost always have to finish with my own hand. The problem, I'm sure is in my head, and the problem is sometimes bigger than some people can tolerate. It led to bed death in one relationship and of course that led to more than bed death which I think is one of the worse things that can ever happen including infidelity. The problem has never stopped me from enjoying sex and indeed has probably led to some marathon sessions because my partners want to try again and again and so do I. I also firmly believe that most of what happens when the sex is hot hot hot is at least 69% between the ears, in the brain. Imagination and desire fuel the best sex I've ever had and led me to kink and keeps me firmly planted there.

So, my partner needed to do this for me, she says. I know I needed to give it to her which is more the point. This is really about displaying my desire for her within her complete control, including my orgasm.

We are laying in bed and talking and touching and she has played with me most of the night and I have touched her the way she likes and i'm feeling very soft and then I feel her leg pull mine aside and she pushes my legs apart and whispers to me to keep them spread. She wants me open and she touches me softly, my lips, the soft opening, my clit and I feel myself swell and it's so soft and then the deep wet sploosh and she moans and concentrates on my clit and I feel it get hard and big and she uses a little more pressure and then her fingers are flying across me and I tell her to slow down baby and I think I am almost ready to cum but something is missing. I need her whispers. My fingers run through her hair and I pull her closer and tell her I'm keeping my legs spread for her like she wants and I hear her voice say, "yes baby." Keep talking love, please. "You're mine, all mine," she says and that I am going to cum for her and I am moaning louder and telling her please don't stop and feel her legs holding me down and my resistance and her hot breath in my ear telling me, "You're in my hands and you're going to cum, it's all me, and you're all mine. That's it, cum for me, cum." I cannot stop myself at all and I'm throbbing deeply, splooshing, spilling into her hand and she knows and when I move her fingers inside me she yields and although I cannot see it, I feel her smile and I feel completely opened.